Me, Processing Anger

In March 2024, one of my close friends Acha randomly texted me, saying that she was checking my old blog entries to take a trip down memory lane. She asked me to write again. In between endless reading and dissertation pressure, I said I could not do it then, but I would later in the year after master's. God knows I'm such a sloth; fast forward to today 10th October 2025, I only started writing 10 minutes ago.

Many months have passed since I returned home after a year living abroad. I still remember the feelings that I had post study. They were quite messy; it took some time to untangle and properly process them. I realised in the end that I was predominantly furious. Apparently, I still am. 

I have a love-hate relationship with London. Though it might sound like trouble, me being furious is not because of London, really. I do hate that everything is expensive and it feels like life is never enough there, and that I can never make peace with its gloomy weather, and that there are simply too many people in the streets. My frugal and homebody ass really can't.

But I sincerely cherish my London days. I love my quarterly morning trip to the Columbia Flower Market--picking out seasonal fresh blooms to arrange back home. I love that the life there rekindled me with an interest I thought I lost: books. I started reading again--mostly fiction, just to balance things out with pages of academic papers. I love all the walks, the city's extensive network of public transportation, and its free museums and galleries. My mundane routine was also a pure joy: taking the 91 bus to Holborn, looking at the King's Cross and St Pancras stations in awe, going for weekly groceries in Angel, finding secluded corners around campus for focus time, and zoning out at public parks. I often went to the Lincoln's Inn Garden whenever I had enough with my own dissertation (there was a lot of existential crisis there).

I started feeling angry as I approached the end of my postgrad journey, mainly because of three things.

The Jade Table for Two

There was this posh jade table for two at the front corner of my favourite joint. I loved to sit there and admire its artistic features; its perfectly round cut, semi-opaque (yet at the same time, rich) green colour, and rather coarse texture. It became a special spot to unwind whenever I visited. A safe haven, even, where no random friends could just sit across mine and listen to whatever things I had in mind. Just like any other sensible human beings on the planet, I chose my company carefully.

I went to the restaurant one day in a pretty bad shape. I felt like I was on the edge; the inside of my head tensed up from all the things that went south that week. All I could think about was giving myself an ample time to calm down in solitude. I guessed it simply made sense to do so. And so what happened next was totally out of my foresight.

"Meeru?" I heard someone called my name. "You okay?"

I lifted my face and found a man standing in front of my jade table. I knew him for quite a long time already, but as I traced down my memory, I realised that I hardly talked to him. It was not surprising that we stumbled upon each other there, though. I heard he often roamed around the area.

"Handa," I gave him a slight nod while flashing a polite smile. I must have been looking pretty ghastly that he could see through my emotional state at a glance. There was no point in hiding something that was so obvious, so I plainly replied comme ci comme ça.

"Mind if I join you?" he asked.

I would normally (and harshly) decline such a request, but there was this inexplicable gravity pulling me into saying that I did not mind. The next thing I knew, he took a seat across mine, and we talked for hours. 

A Simple Fire Pit

She spent one serene, rainy night sitting by a fire pit. It was on a whim. There was no expectation whatsoever from the agenda, except from being able to just stare blankly into the flame and let her body cradled by the swinging hammock. Her gaze might appear empty, but not the mind behind.

For some moments, she forgot that grieving was not only about mourning the deceased, but also about losing other things. Grief had been throwing her out of balance, engulfing her in a storm of countless (and often unrecognizable) emotions. Steve Garrigan said it took his soul and wiped it clean. Rumi exquisitely put it as a crowd of sorrows, violently sweeping your house empty of its furniture. They were true.

She had zero appetite for weeks, and food tasted bland when she ate. Although sunflowers and bouvardias bloomed during the day, she broke down the second she arrived home at night. She pushed herself to go out for an entire week only to find herself mentally and physically drained in the end. When she hit the sack, the viable option was either sleeping too late or waking up too early.

The scariest thing was that she never knew when all these would dissipate. The journey was unapologetically unpredictable, just like the fire she was staring at. It blazed and flickered every now and then in an erratic way.

A Self-Fulfilling Prophetrip

I was having a virtual catch up session with my college friends on a late April night when I mindlessly said that I really wanted to travel to Europe. The world has been slowly entering an endemic, so I thought I could have my annual overseas holiday again anytime soon, though I wasn't quite sure if it was already safe enough or not, and who the heck would be willing to accompany me anyway.

Until I realised that Amindari aka Cici was still in the Netherlands to pursue her master's degree -- in fact she's still there now that I'm publishing this story. Not to mention a couple of lecturers back from my uni days currently having their doctoral studies, and a few colleagues who just moved to work there. Solo travel to Europe suddenly felt highly possible. And so I bought flight tickets to Amsterdam a week after to depart in two months, with a mindset that I did this to mainly visit friends. 

Without me knowing, this would become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I couldn't care less about the title

You slowly open your eyes. So much dazzle and vitality in the world around. Gardenias bloom. Planes take off. Thousands of cakes are bought to celebrate life today. All flies ever so swiftly that you are sure you must be missing something when you blink.

Life feels like a long drive to the sea. Up and down the mountains, through the tunnels, past the intersections. The music is good when you nod your head to the rhythm, but sometimes it sounds like a total crap that you just turn off the stereo. Funny and a bit ironic that it is in fact your own playlist, which you curate ever so carefully.

And sometimes you find yourself asking, to which sea are you heading again exactly?

How long have you been driving?

Isn't it about time you arrive?

Why haven't you arrived?

When you don't feel like turning on the stereo again, you know you are screwed.

The Enigmatic Summer Read

Spring officially ended last month and it finally felt like summer. The reverberating sound of cicadas was everywhere in the air, as it got sultrier with each passing day. There had never been a daytime when the sun did not shine brightly in this radiant season. She kept on walking while looking down at the road, adjusting her hat every once in a while to cover her face from the direct sunlight.

She was done with her chores when she decided to take a late afternoon stroll. The countryside was always nice at this hour. People usually took a break in between work before wrapping up whatever the tasks they did for they day, so it gave a relaxing siesta time atmosphere.

"Going for another solitary time out, eh?" a familiar voice called her from behind. She turned her head to find an old man on a horse-drawn wagon, steadily approaching her, with a bunch of haystacks on his back seat. "You're still reading that one book from the last time?"

She stopped on her track to allow the wheeled cart to catch up.

"I guess so," she answered, playfully swinging around the book in her hand. "Where are you heading to?"

"Home."

"Good work today."

She politely refused the offer to hop on his carriage. The old man then bid his farewell as he passed by.

A gentle breeze rustled the dry leaves and swayed her skirt. As she continued walking, she could see children raced through the meadow from between the trees that were lined up on each side of the road, running wildly while shrieking with laughter. Looked like a lot of fun. I wonder where they get all that energy from. 


She sat down at her usual spot a couple of minutes later, under a tree overlooking a poppy field. Her shoulder loosened up as she leaned her back against the tree trunk. Without further ado, she opened the book that she had been carrying, and started picking up where she left off.

On Forgiving and Writing

Wow, it's been more than a year since the last time I wrote! Banyak banget hal yang saya lakukan tahun lalu, kebanyakan terkait kerjaan dan lainnya, sampai nggak punya banyak waktu senggang buat menekuni hobi. Nulis blog nggak kepikiran, namatin satu RPG pun harus makan waktu satu tahun.

Saya sempat liburan ke Jepang lagi di bulan Oktober lalu. Waktu pertama kali ke Jepang di tahun 2016, persiapan saya nggak main-main: saya ngulang belajar bahasa Jepang, sampai ambil ulang Nouryoku Shiken (TOEFL / IELTS nya bahasa Jepang) untuk memastikan kalau saya bisa ngomong bahasa lokal dengan cukup fasih selama berlibur. Sementara itu, persiapan buat liburan di Oktober lalu.. cuma modal skimming common vocabulary dan tenses-nya aja selama 30 menit, dua hari sebelum keberangkatan. Lol. Nggak ada waktu lebih banget buat review hiks mau nangis. Alhasil selama di Jepang ngomong bahasa Tarzan.

Waktu saya dan Virgi pergi dari hostel buat cari makan malam, petugas hostelnya bilang "iterasshai", malah saya bales "tadaima". Kan geblek.

And Not to Yield

Seharusnya ini jadi post akhir tahun lalu, tapi saya kurang tergerak untuk menyelesaikan tulisan saya sendiri. Semoga belum basi ya. Anggaplah madingnya belum terbit.

Kalau harus merangkum kesan tahun 2018, saya mau mengutip tulisan sendiri di post akhir tahun 2016 lalu. "This year got me beaten up like shit". A different level of shit, if I must correct it. Setelah kembali babak belur selama kurang lebih 350 hari sejak 1 Januari 2018, saya memutuskan untuk mengambil cuti akhir tahun, sedari sebelum natal hingga setelah tahun baru kemarin. Saya pulang ke rumah di Bandung dan menghabiskan waktu bareng keluarga. Rasanya bagai anak kuliahan yang lagi liburan semester.

Saya menghabiskan seminggu terakhir di tahun 2018 lalu dengan baca buku, tidur, nonton Running Man, makan Indomie dua hari sekali (basically turning into a couch), dan belajar mengetik dengan 10 jari. Kegiatan terakhir adalah kegiatan yang saya tekuni dengan super serius. Kira-kira tiga bulan lalu, saya sempat berkunjung ke meja teman saya yang kebetulan seorang software engineer. Saya minta doi untuk bantu saya ngecek code yang dikirim kandidat (for the past year, I had been working as a recruiter for my tech team, and the role gave me a privilege to receive code submissions from engineering candidates and actually take a look at their codes). Pada kesempatan itu, saya harus ngetik beberapa command line di depan teman saya tersebut, dan saya tiba-tiba menyadari betapa tidak efisiennya cara saya mengetik. I know so because (1) I know that my friend types faster and (2) one of the indicators of an outstanding engineer is his/her ability to swiftly type code with 10 fingers.

Saya tahu saya bukan engineer, tapi setelah mengobservasi sekeliling saya dengan lebih seksama, banyak juga teman-teman non-engineer di sekeliling saya yang bisa mengetik dengan 10 jari. Saya jadi tergugah untuk bisa melakukan hal yang sama. And so I've been practicing ever since. Post ini juga diketik dengan 10 jari loh. Sebuah kebanggaan yang sangat receh.

Jadi, selama satu minggu terakhir di penghujung tahun lalu, saya bertransformasi menjadi manusia gua. Keluar rumah cuma beberapa jam di satu hari buat ketemuan sama Ninet, Adi, dan Fajar yang kebetulan lagi di Bandung juga. Ketika itu, saya tahu kalau saya ada di penghujung tahun, dan menulis post akhir tahun adalah rutinitas yang saya tekuni sejak entah tahun berapa. Rasanya ingin banget nulis, tapi tekad saya belum sekuat itu kemarin. It was also kind of scary to storytell 2018, as I can say it's too sensitive to share.

A Rookie's First Year Retrospective

I’m a self-proclaimed archiver. I still have pics and videos from years ago organized neatly in my laptop and phone. After a long, tiring day, I sometimes skim through my photo album before dozing off in the honor of reminiscing the old days. It allows me to (in a way) reflect on where I started and how far I’ve been going.

Graduation photo is amongst my favourite. Time flies and without me knowing it’s been a year already since the pic was taken. “What have I been doing” or “am I doing well” are few among many questions that I cannot stop asking myself. The fact that August 7th marks the anniversary of me entering the workplace only fuels up those questions to continue echoing, leaving me wonder what the answers would be.

I think about what I did this past year; what went well and what didn’t. Although achievements are great, I always consider myself as person who focus more on process. Looking at the progress that I’ve made so far, I can clearly tell that I learn a lot. You have no idea how very proud and grateful I am for it.

So.. ya. This is me wanting to share the insightful learnings. It’s been a while since my last blog post. It’s been a while longer since the last time I wrote something that is not prose-based—I think the last one was the Hanoi post (which is last year!! I had a Vietnamese lunch yesterday btw and it brought back soooo many memories). But anyway here I go.

Your Code to Decipher

"Have I told you how much I love stations and airports; trains and aircrafts?"

It was a comfortably gloomy day as the sun took a day off. Dark clouds kept pouring down droplets of water since dawn, taking everyone hostage at home and leaving the asphalt covered streets empty. However, she was a free soul. She went out nonetheless.

The man who sat in front of her shook his head. "No, you haven't. Tell me."

"I love them so much."

"Why?"

"Because they give me mixed feelings," she answered. "There are sadness and joy. People who come and go. I imagine myself feeling excited to board my plane to see the other side of the continent while also feeling sad because I have to leave everyone I care about behind."

He smiled.

“It’s interesting. I have a friend who hates airports. And I have another who loves it for a slightly different reason from yours.”

“How come?”

“Both only see one side of a single coin. One hates it simply because he only sees the partings. Another one loves it because she only sees the exhilarating anticipation of going places.”

He ended his story by gulping a spoonful of salad and washing it down his throat with mineral water. She observed him in silence.

“People view things differently. And that’s okay,” he continued. “But in order to be wise, it’s always better to understand various, different perspectives. It’s easier being said than done.”

She slowly stirred her tea, making clattering sound as her spoon touched the inner side of her porcelain cup. It was his turn to take his time and observe her mundane gesture. Every time she’s lost in her thoughts, all he can do is wait. And he does not mind waiting.

Blest be the Moonlight

Everyone had already left when I heard him play.

The poignant tune of the piano caught my attention. My heart skipped a beat the moment I recognized the song.

He sat tall on the bench as his slender fingers gracefully danced across the piano bars. He was as calm as the placid Greenland fields; as peaceful as the serene Himalayan mountains. He was so immersed in his own little world that he did not seem to realize my presence.

The haunting melody echoed all over the room, its feelings were perfectly conveyed. He played the song just right.

I was helplessly drawn to him.

In the Honor of the Snatcher

"I see you took an immediate liking to him."

"To whom?"

"To him. The guy you came across at the exhibition last month."

"What makes you say that?"

"How many times have you opened his page since your encounter that day?"

"I open his page every once in a while."

"That didn't answer my question. And by once in a while, you mean once every two or three days, so it makes you have opened his page like.. 10 to 15 times already."

She laughed. A faint blush was slowly become visible on her cheeks. I couldn't help but smirk.

An Afternoon Well Spent

As seniors who are about to graduate (hopefully) soon, it is mandatory for my friends and I to present the Last Performance. The name says it all; it's an event where we put on various performances on stage dedicated as our last contribution for people on campus. It is also recognized as the last opportunity to show your true color slash go crazy (meaning: giving your best shot to come up with the most stupid, effective way of ruining your image you've exerted yourself to build in the last four years, like by doing some weird dancing or acting ridiculously).

Our Last Performance was successfully held last Wednesday, earning rounds of applause, squeal, and laugh. After practicing and preparing everything for weeks, I was nearly moved to tears at the end of the three hours performance. I felt so happy, relieved, and proud receiving positive feedbacks and knowing that people love the show!

Reviewing 2016

Salah satu teman saya, Bianda, ngepost foto di akun Instagramnya (@biandarwr) kemarin malam. In the caption, she said that this year was like playing an awesome RPG. Despite numerous challenges and hardships she had to face along the way, the prize she got from each quest is what makes this year "the most valuable year ever". I must say I second the motion.

Tahun ini LUAR BIASA. Sampe saya tulis pake huruf kapital loh itu. Sure, this year got me beaten up like shit, but there were also abundant blessing in any form imaginable I'd never thought God would so generously give to me. Tahun ini juga merupakan tahun yang penuh tantangan. I was completely fired up like never before.

I started this year with an unforgettable Japanese trip. Saya nggak perlu lagi ceritain gimana seru, berkesan, dan menyenangkannya perjalanan tersebut karena saya udah pernah ulas di post sebelumnya (yang bahkan saya bikin sampe tiga bagian). Saya kangen banget sama Jepang. I'm missing Japan everyday. Beberapa hari yang lalu, saya sampe bisa-bisanya mimpi pergi ke Hokkaido lihat pelangi sama air terjun, terus ketemu tiga cowok Jepang ganteng. Emang enggak jelas. 

Kemudian.. magang di pertengahan tahun. Kegiatan magang ini sebenernya udah direncanakan, tapi sangat nggak terduga, soalnya saya magang.. di Jakarta. There's nothing special with doing internship in Jakarta, really. Masalahnya, seumur hidup, saya nggak pernah pengen (dan membayangkan) kerja di Jakarta. Saya pengennya kerja di Bandung. Saya nggak suka Jakarta yang macet, panas, dan nggak bersahabat. Ditambah lagi, kegiatan magangnya dilaksanakan pas bulan ramadhan. Mana mau saya sahur dan buka puasa sendirian di kosan?

Ujung-ujungnya dijabanin juga.

Experiencing Japan: Part 3

Day 4: Kamis, 28 Januari 2016

Hari keempat! Diawali dengan sarapan di hostel yang mengenyangkan dan dobel enaknya (karena gratis), saya dan Izzati pergi naik bis ke destinasi pertama kami hari ini, yaitu Kinkaku-Ji atau Golden Temple. Saya dan Izzati makan dango di Kinkaku-Ji! Akhirnya kesampean juga bm saya makan dango! Salah satu hal yang bikin Kyoto mantap adalah kedai jajanan tradisional di kota ini, terlebih di sekitar kuil yang jadi objek wisata, ada banyak banget. Di jalan keluar dari Kinkaku-Ji, banyak stand penjual makanan yang bisa dijadiin oleh-oleh. Terus orang Jepang itu nggak pelit bagiin sampel makanan! Saya ditawarin sampel kacang berbalut wasabi (yang akhirnya nggak saya makan karena saya emang nggak doyan wasabi) dan dango rasa teh hijau. Enak syekali sis dan bro. Saya dan Izzati kemudian beli dango buat ngemil di jalan sekaligus buat oleh-oleh ayah serta ibu di rumah. Seisi rumah saya doyan oleh-oleh dango ini btw, termasuk Ayah yang lidahnya sangat enggak Jepang, so dango-nya emang beneran enak.

Destinasi kedua kami adalah, tak lain dan tak bukan, Kiyomizu-dera! Setelah dari Kinkaku-Ji, saya dan Izzati naik bis sampe Shijo Kawaramachi, terus naik bis lagi ke Gojozaka. Kami berdua nyasar lagi di sini. Waktu kami turun di Shijo Kawaramachi, kami bingung harus lanjut naik bis nomor berapa dan dari mana. Terus kami inisiatif nanya ke bapak-bapak petugas bis yang kebetulan ada di halte seberang jalan. Menurut beliau, kami harus jalan kaki ke halte E buat bisa naik bis yang dimaksud. Kami pun diinstruksikan buat nyebrang perempatan di depan, terus nanti belok kiri. Saya dan Izzati pun melangkah dengan mantap sesuai petunjuk yang dikasih petugas tersebut.

Tapi kok udah jalan lama nggak nyampe-nyampe..

Experiencing Japan: Part 2

Day 2: Selasa, 26 Januari 2016

Hari kedua! Seharian ini suhunya lebih hangat, sekitar 8 derajat di siang sampe sore. Lumayan lah ya naik dua derajat dibanding kemaren. Ditambah lagi saya juga udah terhabituasi, jadi rasanya nggak dingin bego banget kayak hari sebelumnya.

Agenda hari ini adalah pergi ke Ueno, lalu jalan-jalan seharian penuh di Harajuku dan Shibuya. Saya dan Izzati berangkat pukul 7.30 pagi ke stasiun dan tiba di Ueno sekitar setengah jam kemudian. Seperti biasa, beli sarapan di konbini, terus makan dengan tenang di Taman Ueno. Minuman yang kami beli pagi itu beneran susu dan bukannya yoghurt hohoho. Saya dan Izzati kemudian lanjut jalan ke destinasi selanjutnya sehabis sarapan, yaitu Tokyo National Museum.

Isi dari Ueno adalah museum dan museum dan museum dan museum. Mulai dari National Science Museum, Tokyo Metropolitan Art Museum, National Museum of Western Art, dan entah apa lagi, masih banyak banget. Saya dititipin pesan sama ibu saya, katanya kalo pergi ke negeri orang, saya harus ngunjungin museum nasionalnya. Jadilah saya masukin Tokyo National Museum ke dalam itinerary saya.

Experiencing Japan: Part 1

Halo semuanya!

Nggak terasa liburan awal tahun ini udah mau selesai lagi. Dibanding liburan tengah tahun kemaren, entah kenapa liburan saya kali ini kurang produktif. Saya males ngapa-ngapain, nggak ada minat sama sekali buat pergi keluar sekedar untuk jalan-jalan atau ketemu temen.. Padahal di rumah juga kesel karena super bosen. Nonton TV males, baca buku males, nulis males, lari pagi males.. Saya juga nggak ngerti saya kenapa.

Tapiiii liburan awal tahun ini nggak sepenuhnya membosankan! Atau nggak produktif. Karena minggu lalu, tepatnya tanggal 24-29 Januari 2016, alhamdulillah saya dan sister "Bayi Kadal" atau "Oscar Oasis" saya, Izzati, pergi ke Jepang dalam rangka melihat dunia sekaligus jalan-jalan nekad.

Bisa pergi ke Jepang adalah sebuah mimpi yang jadi kenyataan bagi saya pribadi. I've been wanting to go there my whole life. Sampe sekarang rasanya masih nggak percaya akhirnya bisa ke sana. Saya udah jatuh cinta sama Jepang semenjak masih bocah tengil. Saya suka budaya mereka--bahasa, komik, animasi (bahkan dulu saya pernah super freak sama hal ini, sekarang sih udah tobat ekekeke), lagu, game, pokoknya seeemuanya. Bisa pergi ke Jepang bener-bener sebuah blessing dan berarti banyak buat saya.

Nah, pada post kali ini, saya mau share tentang perjalanan saya dan Izzati selama lima hari penuh keliling Tokyo dan Kyoto. Banyak banget hal yang pengen saya ceritain (and yes, kalo temen-temen udah sering baca post saya yang dulu-dulu, "banyak banget hal yang pengen saya ceritain" means saya akan nyeritain semua hal mulai dari yang "penting banget" sampe yang "apa banget", dan berarti post ini akan jadi post yang super duper triple hyper panjang, bahkan bakal saya bagi jadi beberapa part). And this post may contain a lot of swearing (maafin anaknya emang suka ngomong kasar hehehe) jadi mohon disikapi dengan bijak ya. Saya harap tulisan ini bisa menyenangkan, menghibur, dan informatif untuk temen-temen yang baca!

Another Year-End Note

Pernahkah temen-temen berpikir bahwa segala hal di dunia ini begitu kontradiktif? Mungkin beberapanya nggak sampai kontradiktif, but at least semuanya relatif. Keabsolutan dan permanensi itu omong kosong. Kemudian orang-orang bakal sadar bahwa cepat atau lambat semuanya akan kemakan kata-kata sendiri.

Pernahkah temen-temen berpikir, apa yang memanusiakan kita? Yang bikin kita jadi manusia?

It is good to work hard and always push yourself to the limit. It is good for your personal development, it helps you secure your bright future, and it keeps you stay focused all the time. Letting your guard down is the last thing you want to do. But there are some points in your life when you push yourself too hard. You come to deny your own experiences and you ignore your own inner voices.

Ketika Superego Berjalan Merasa Bosan

Oh mai gat. Akhirnya ada waktu buat nulis blog juga.

Kayanya ada cukup banyak banget hal yang pengen saya ceritain. Ya nggak jauh-jauh dari kehidupan saya belakangan ini sih. Ngomong-ngomong, keinginan saya buat nulis blog udah ada dari jaman saya pulang Psycamp. DARI JAMAN PULANG PSYCAMP LOH BAYANGIN. Which is dari awal September lalu. Dan sekarang udah akhir Oktober baru kesampean nulisnya. Mancay.

Oh iya. Buat temen-temen pembaca yang nggak ngeh, Psycamp itu adalah sebuah acara camping yang rutin diadain tiap tahun di kampus saya. Biasanya sih diadain di akhir semester ganjil, sekitaran bulan November. Tapi tahun ini Psycamp diadain di awal semester! Terakhir kali saya ikut Psycamp itu waktu masih mahasiswa baru. Saya nggak ikut Psycamp tahun lalu karena semester tiga kemaren sibuknya minta ampun mau mati rasanya. Nah, di semester lima ini, saya kembali ikut Psycamp deh.

Awalnya saya nggak berencana ikut Psycamp tahun ini karena satu dan lain hal. Saya pengen banget ikut, tapi entah kenapa super bingung ketika harus memutuskan jadinya ikut atau nggak. Pada akhirnya, dengan impulsivitas yang luar biasa...... saya memutuskan untuk ikut di H-10 jam keberangkatan. 

Packing H-3 jam keberangkatan.

Sebodo amat itu.

Qu'est-ce que Tu Fais Pendant tes Vacances?

Aloha semuanya!! Sekarang saya lagi duduk di kasur sambil makan sundae polos yang dibeliin sama ayah. Saya masih nggak ngerti gimana ceritanya beliau bisa beli strawberry sundae tapi topping strawberry-nya malah nggak ada, tapi karena saya laper, saya makan aja.

Kadang saya suka mikir, buat apa juga ya nulis blog? Cerita tentang kehidupan sendiri? Kayak yang menarik aja buat orang lain. Tapi toh saya tetep nulis karena nulis itu seru. Saya juga sadar kalo deep inside, saya orangnya super cerewet. Saya suka banget nyeritain hal-hal kecil ke orang lain. Walaupun tentunya nggak sembarang cerita dan nggak sembarang orang, sih. Jadi ya.. sepertinya ini adalah salah satu cara saya buat memenuhi dorongan-dorongan itu, sekaligus menjaga supaya diri saya tetap waras. Syukur-syukur kalo sampe bisa bikin orang lain terhibur atau bahkan terinspirasi.

Saya memutuskan buat tobat setelah sadar bahwa tulisan blog saya agak suram selama beberapa bulan belakangan ini. Sekarang saya mau cerita tentang kegiatan (dan kegabutan) saya selama liburan aja.