She Wished For No Dream

It was already late, yet she found herself unable to sleep. She then started to do her one-more-scroll routine while listening to her lullaby playlist, hoping that it would tire her and hasten her drowsiness.

After such a long time, she opened his webpage again. She used to catch up with his life through that very page. His writings were intriguing; sometimes they were light and funny, sometimes they were deep. They never failed to make her wanting to know more about him.

He was superior over her in ways she could never imagine.

She adored him. He never knew.

She never wanted him to find out the fact. 

Heck, they barely even knew or often talked to each other. But she perfectly knew that her very heart would always fly to him, over and over again, every time she encountered this kind of moment. Somehow, it was very uncomfortable.

It wasn't a crush. It was a pure admiration. Still, she didn't want him to know, considering the chance that it might scare him, thus making the whole relationship awkward. So all she could do was to be thankful to God for bringing such a decent man to life, and that He allowed their path to cross.

She wondered whether there would be another time for her to say "It's such a pleasant coincidence to meet you here". Maybe he would offer her to go to the nearest café to have some cups of coffee afterwards. She laughed at the idea. Certainly, it was idiotic. It only made her feel even more uncomfortable.

It was never easy to feel convenient around men. Poor shame that when she finally could, she was left shattered in the end.

The one-more-scroll routine worked. After smiling to herself, she then continued to listen to the rest of her playlist as she drifted off to sleep.

And as usual, she wished for no dream.